Thank God for dirty dishes
They have a tale to tell.
While other folks go hungry,
We're eating very well.
With home and health and happiness
We shouldn't want to fuss.
For by this stack of evidence,
God's very good to us.
I first read this poem in a homemaking book of my mom's that I read when I was a teenager and first getting interested in homemaking arts. (The book is "The Art of Homemaking" by Daryl V. Hoole. I think it's out of print now but she has a more current book called "The Ultimate Career: The Art of Homemaking for Today").
The aftermath of a Sunday dinner.
Doing dishes (even when you have a dishwasher) isn't the most fun job in the world. Three meals a day plus snacks; the dishes used in preparing those three meals; plus whatever glasses, cups or other dishes family members use and put in the sink--no wonder it feels like the dishes are never done!
I am grateful, however, for those dirty dishes.
The house I grew up in had a formal dining room, and my mother had a china cabinet with china dishes, nice glassware and silverware that was a more fancy pattern than our usual everyday cutlery. She also had a collection of linens--napkins, tablecloths and placemats; as well as seasonal decor that made for some nice table settings. We ate Sunday dinner in that dining room with the china and linens. We also had other special-occasion meals there too. So this was not a Thanksgiving-and-Christmas-dinner-only room.
Green meal on St. Patrick's Day
When I got married, I was given the beginnings of my own collection of china. Generous monetary gifts allowed me to purchase a complete set of 12 place settings. Even when I was living in my first 2 bedroom apartment with the table set against the bar in the kitchen, I still used that china. I only unpacked one box that had 4 complete place settings (that was all I needed at that early time) but I still used it.
Table set for 5 course dinner for CM's birthday (2012)
When we ate in the dining room, especially Sunday dinner, my mother asked that we either remain in Sunday clothes or wear nice clothing. She expected us to use our best manners. While we didn't go as formal as having 2 forks (salad and dinner) and dessert fork and spoon above the plate, we were taught to place our napkins on our laps as soon as the blessing was said, and that if there was more than one fork or spoon, to start on the outside and work in. We were expected to sit properly (no slouching and no feet on the chair, and propping elbows on knees) and to keep elbows off the table. We were expected to speak properly (no yelling, no inappropriate conversation, no really loud laughter, say 'please' and 'thank you'). I'm sure my two brothers rolled their eyes in exasperation sometimes but it all was worth it later when we all started dating.
Football theme dinner for JJ's birthday (2012)
One story I remember my mom telling me that showed me how important it was to learn all this stuff at home was about my older younger brother (the brother just younger than me) and his prom date. He and the young lady were going out to dinner at the best restaurant in town with a group of friends. The other boys didn't really know what to do but my brother did. The other young men watched him and took their cues from him. His date was really impressed. Later, when telling our mom about his date, my brother told her, "Thank you" for teaching him the proper behavior for eating out.
Fourth of July BBQ (2012)
That story really impressed me and I determined that I wanted any sons I had to have that same upbringing. My house doesn't have a formal dining room but I still set my table on Sundays with my china, good glassware and silverware and linens (when I remember the linens). We practice our manners. Other occasions when we "dress up" the table are birthdays and holidays. For birthdays, I cook that family member's favorite meal and dress the table accordingly. This past year, my daughter CM decided she wanted a formal 5 course dinner. I went all out on that--set the table with the china and linens; made and served appetizer, salad, soup, main course and dessert. We even had candles! The following week was JJ's birthday and he wanted an Italian dinner. It was less formal--we used the regular dishes instead of the china but I still decorated the table (football theme).
Halloween dinner--chili in bread bowls and Swamp Water (2012)
We eat Thanksgiving dinner with extended family--I have never hosted Thanksgiving dinner myself--but we still have a formal meal of our own a week or so before. We have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at home (extended family celebrations are on other days) and those are formal dinners. Other holidays such as Valentine's Day, Easter, Mother's Day, and Father's Day are formal meals too. Fourth of July is a BBQ. I enjoy setting the table to reflect the theme/holiday/season and have gathered quite a collection of different table linens and centerpieces. I believe all of these things together add up to wonderful memories for family members.
Of course, all these great meals generate a lot of dirty dishes. At times, when it's all over, I look at the kitchen and I groan a little inside, knowing that there's a big mess to clean up, but the memories of our meals together to celebrate help strengthen our family bonds.
But even on the regular days when it's a normal breakfast, lunch or dinner, I am still grateful for those dirty dishes. I am grateful that I know how to cook and I know how to plan and prepare nutritious meals for my family. I am grateful when I am called upon to provide a meal for a family in the ward (church congregation) that had a new baby or a family member had surgery or some other reason. One or two times, I've taken a meal to a family just because I felt the need to do so. I am grateful that we have an abundance of food available. I know there are areas where getting enough to eat is a daily struggle. I am grateful for the blessing of having a safe and reliable food supply.
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